Lost. In Translation.

Oh Monday...you have your place, don't you.

Weekend. Whirlwind. I'm trying to look at Monday in a different light. It's not working very well.

Friday, hit up ye olde Central Cinema in the Central District Friday night for a screening of the much loved Back to the Future. One of the best films ever made. Big screen = big love. What made it more lovely, you ask? The excellent company of one Alexandra Blouin, Christopher Bange, and the hubster, Cory, of course! Oh, and popcorn...good stuff. With real butter and brewer's yeast. Not that icky crap you get at the big theaters. It is such a great feeling to watch a movie 15 plus years later as an adult, and it's still as awesome as you remember. Maybe even more awesome. That doesn't happen very often. Case and point: Short Circuit. Loved that movie growing up. Bought it at Christmas a couple of years ago and watched it. Don't torture yourself. It is TERRIBLE.

Saturday. Treated myself to a much needed massage. Then a little shopping. Good times at Madame K's for dinner. Pretty good Sangria (not the same siren song as Brittany's though!)Terrible table service. But the pizza is epic. Unfortunately I tasted that pizza into the next day, but it was kind of worth it. Fun show at the Tractor. Too many opening bands. First band was just not up to par. Sorry Con Dad. Not a fan. Keep working at it though! Wished I could've heard the vocals better on the 2nd band--I think they were good...tight harmonies. Headliner was great. Fun getting to know new people!

Sunday. Brunch with Cory. My favorite. Spent most of the day lounging, trying to brush up on my guitar. Putting some pieces together for open mic with Alex. I think I'm on to something. I even got inspired to write a little bit. It kind of just started to flow. Our cable went out on Saturday. This is probably a good thing. We're going to try it out for awhile. No tv. None. It will be good for my creative side. I need this.

No cable = no LOST party at our pad. Luckily our friends Jonah and Brittney offered up their abode. I will reserve my comments for another time. I'm already tired of talking about it, and I've barely said a word. Overall, I loved the ending. There are things I wish we were given more of, but the overall message was brilliant in my opinion. I loved the juxtaposition of sciene, metaphysical, reality, nonreality, and the open-to -interpretation ending. I think it echoes a lot of my own beliefs on life and death, and "what the hell are we here for?" questions. I can understand why people are also dissatisfied. But this girl, certainly is not. I keep thinking about what Christian Shepherd said to Jack in the final scenes, and it makes me tear-up.

"No one does it alone. The most important part of your life was the time you spent with these people. You needed them and they needed you."
"For What?"
"To remember and let go".

Agree or not, I don't care...I mean, I care, but I won't get riled up or upset because you hated it. It moved me. Oh, and Vincent. Brillant! Brilliant! And Hurley as #1, and how Jack and Locke's stories connected. Le sigh.

Lastly, THANK ALLAH, it is over! It is time to move on. Let go! nyuck-nyuck.

Lastly, lastly. Some GREAT news. Cory's temp position got extended with my company. And they are looking at offering him a full time permanent gig. That portion is still up in the air, but they did mention that to him. For now though, he'll be here for at least 3 more months. This is most EXCELLENT news. Both financially, but for peace-of-mind as well. He really likes it there! Keep your fingers crossed. We'll keep you posted.

There is a hunger in the center of the chest

I read an article at RunnersWorld.com yesterday that evoked responses on what truly defines a "Runner's High". Many seem to agree, it's much different than any chemically induced high--not so intense, but a kind of mild full-body euphoria that seems to happen when all of your systems are in complete alignment. Your legs pedal along effortlessly, carried by the strength of your pumping heart and arms, floating on easy breath, that seems to lift right on up through your being. I think someone put it well when he said it's "when your physical and spiritual worlds align with your running body".

Generally I can't stand having my earphones in when I run. I like the feeling of carrying nothing, little as it may be. But now and then I just get the need to run with music. Today I hit the trails with my ipod set to the Wailin' Jennys and their album "40 Days". Their music always immediately wakes my senses--there are still songs I can't make it through w/out feeling this enourmous welling in my chest. It's like needing to laugh and cry and sing all at once. Add that to my body-in-motion, and I had the most incredible run today.

In recent months, I've noticed a similar emotional welling up during certain times--maybe sitting at coffee with Cory, or during a conversation with Mom or Dad--even on the descent down the hill to our little Alki bungalow--with the most amazing view of Puget Sound. It's an interesting sensation. It's mostly good, but there's this little inlet of sadness that comes along with it. It's not a weighted-down, to the depths of my core kind of sadness. I think it probably stems from the realization that "nothing gold can stay, Pony Boy". Time is fleeting. I want to make a god-honest attempt at living my minutes and hours. To make them important and meaningful.

"Whether we wake or we sleep,
Whether we carol or weep,
The Sun with his planets in chime,
Marketh the going of time."
~Edward Fitzgerald

Ch Ch Ch Chaaaanges....

I've been having a tough go with ye old blog the last few weeks. I know, I just started posting last week, but I'd been thinking on it for some time. The original blog grew out of requests from friends and family to cover my marathon training experiences. Just as much, it grew out of my need to express all that I was feeling and experiencing while taking on that challenge, and tackling the last few pounds of my weight loss.

Now that the running is less shiny, and new, and more of something that is engrained into my daily life, I'm not sure what direction this little blog might take. I want it to remain something earthy, and meaningful to me w/out turning into something like an hour by hour play of "what I did today". How to do that organically, I'm not sure.

I guess what I'm asking here, dear friends, is to bear with me while I continue to search for my new voice. The marathon has come and gone. The weight loss--I made it over the top of that mountain. Make no mistake--it's a day to day balancing act--but the overall goal was met. Please forgive if what I'm about to say makes me sound completely full of myself--it's not the intention: I'm trying to find strength and stability in admitting it's okay to tackle smaller goals. Not all endeavors have to be a climb to the top of Mt. Everest. The day to day challenges are just as important. I tend to seek out the adventure of those Everests, when in fact my mind and body are trying to tell me to just settle down and refocus--take a load off. So here I am--trying to actually listen for once!

10 mile thoughts

1) I really really wish that I could afford plastic surgery. This guy passed us yesterday on our run, wearing unbelievably short shorts. He had these really nice, strong thighs and calves. My body is in excellent condition. I also have nice, strong muscular legs, but they are masked by the aftermath of a 269 lb. body. Sometimes it's really hard not to feel regret for not having always treated my body more kindly. Are there more important things to spend my money on? Certainly. Would I still do it? I would. Do I feel guilty about that? Yes. It would be so freeing to run in short shorts. (We wear short shorts.)

2) There is something about the light of the afternoon sun that has always made me feel a bit lonely. Morning is my favorite time of day. The period just before you get your cup of coffee and the day is just beginning--the possibilities.

3) My sister and Jaxon make really great running partners. No pressure for conversation. It be what it be. Pushing a 2 year old in a stroller while running is extremely difficult. However, that's some durn good conditioning. Do that enough and you'll fly through a half marathon--I've discovered your secret, Seester!

4) I am terrified of being pregnant. I do want kids, but imagining myself pregnant seems so strange and foreign. I have a hard time picturing it. When I think about having a little one some day, I get excited about being a Mommy, and what a great Dad Cory will be! But something about the actual physicality of pregnancy is hard for me to imagine.

5) Dancing rollerbladers are rad! Dancing, singing rollerbladers are even radder.

6) Jaxon: "Mommy, I wanna get down and run, too". I love that he was really upset that he couldn't. I also love that he zonked out from miles 2 -5 and didn't bat an eye while I strolled over the bumpiest sidewalk this side of the Mississip!

7) Salty's is overrated. I do not know this from experience. It's just a feeling I have.