That's my current mantra.
It's just too easy to lie dormant, and I don't like things easy.
The challenge is in getting out of my head. That's where the true work lies.
Bigger Picture.
Bigger Picture.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Well, that just happened
I left the gym this evening a much better person than the gal who walked in. I ditched that angry turd somewhere around the half mile mark. Thank goodness--she is such a drag!
Oh... and I am STILL a runner.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Ramble on, Sing this song
It's cold this morning. My toes are popsicles.
Zeke is shivering. But Zeke shivers when it's 70 degrees outside. The heat is on, but the wood floors are cold, and like Zeke, I would thrive in 90 degree weather!
Lilli and Olivia are napping, and Declan and I are reading. He occasionally takes a break to push the big stuffed toy frog around in the play shopping cart.
It's Friday, and I'm thinking about all the things I'd like to accomplish this weekend. There's too much, and I won't be able to do it all in between the things we already have planned. But that's okay. Life is always like that. I admit that's where my frustrations often lie, because there's barely time to get the things done that need doing. Very very little time left for the want-to-dos. I have to work on making time for the wants, because the wants are important too.
Lyrics to a piece I wrote driving back to Ellensburg during college have been running through my head since early this morning. The music, the music. Always a' want-to-do'. An urgency. A need I have a hard time fulfilling. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow.
Sunshine!!! It's beautiful, and happy, and inviting us outdoors to play!
Zeke is shivering. But Zeke shivers when it's 70 degrees outside. The heat is on, but the wood floors are cold, and like Zeke, I would thrive in 90 degree weather!
Lilli and Olivia are napping, and Declan and I are reading. He occasionally takes a break to push the big stuffed toy frog around in the play shopping cart.
It's Friday, and I'm thinking about all the things I'd like to accomplish this weekend. There's too much, and I won't be able to do it all in between the things we already have planned. But that's okay. Life is always like that. I admit that's where my frustrations often lie, because there's barely time to get the things done that need doing. Very very little time left for the want-to-dos. I have to work on making time for the wants, because the wants are important too.
Lyrics to a piece I wrote driving back to Ellensburg during college have been running through my head since early this morning. The music, the music. Always a' want-to-do'. An urgency. A need I have a hard time fulfilling. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow.
Sunshine!!! It's beautiful, and happy, and inviting us outdoors to play!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Hand Over Heart
I'm sometimes surprised by my emotions. This morning, I suddenly found myself crying, as Lilli looked up at me from her high chair, and with a mushy and rather large piece of banana half-hanging from her mouth, smiled and excitedly exclaimed, "Mamaaaaaa!", then blew me a kiss.
Is it surprising that such proclamations would fill my happiness-cup to the brim? No. What continues to surprise me in these moments, is the rush of sadness that wraps itself around the elation. In the span of 15 seconds or so, the following thoughts went through my mind:
That was so lovely
Mama, yep I'm a Mama
Whoa, I'm a Mom!!!!
My daughter has a really beautiful smile
She is so innocent--there's so much to teach and learn.
I want to protect her from as much as I possibly can
She will be a grown woman some day--please universe, please let her make it to a ripe old age.
My heart would break into an infinite number of pieces if anything should happen to her.
There are so many things I wish I had control over, but terrifyingly, there is very little I control.
Is my coffee ready? Did I remember the sweetener?
Maybe today will be the day I drink the whole cup while it's still hot.
How does one's heart survive parenthood?
I've never known love like this before.
Lilli then pulled the last bit of banana out of her mouth, picked up a piece of toast, mashed them into her hair, giggled, and said, "funny!".
Is it surprising that such proclamations would fill my happiness-cup to the brim? No. What continues to surprise me in these moments, is the rush of sadness that wraps itself around the elation. In the span of 15 seconds or so, the following thoughts went through my mind:
That was so lovely
Mama, yep I'm a Mama
Whoa, I'm a Mom!!!!
My daughter has a really beautiful smile
She is so innocent--there's so much to teach and learn.
I want to protect her from as much as I possibly can
She will be a grown woman some day--please universe, please let her make it to a ripe old age.
My heart would break into an infinite number of pieces if anything should happen to her.
There are so many things I wish I had control over, but terrifyingly, there is very little I control.
Is my coffee ready? Did I remember the sweetener?
Maybe today will be the day I drink the whole cup while it's still hot.
How does one's heart survive parenthood?
I've never known love like this before.
Lilli then pulled the last bit of banana out of her mouth, picked up a piece of toast, mashed them into her hair, giggled, and said, "funny!".
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