Listy McListerstines

Uh, oh...I have bloggersblock....ALREADY?

I have some half-formed thoughts in my head, but as I start to type, it really leads nowhere, so we'll just go with a stream-of-consciousness post today:

1) I love my daughter so so so so much. It literally hurts how much I love her. It is a strange juxtaposition. I want to provide the best world I possibly can for her.
2) I am scared to death of the things in Lilli's life that are beyond my control--many of which are reasons Cory and I debated for a long time about starting a family. There are awful things that happen in this World. I know I can't protect Lilli from them all, but I will do the best I can to prepare her for life.
3) Hormonal changes, plus motherhood, plus sleep deprivation = emotional rollercoaster.
4) Every day I feel lucky for the people in my life. I have an incredible support of family, and friends. I can't get over the amazingly funny, talented, goofy, supportive, caring people in my life. I feel equally blessed and amazed that Lilli has all of these people to carry her through life as well.
5) I miss running. I really, really miss it.
6) I am in awe of Cory as a Dad. He is such a good father, and he has been incredible during this time of change for us. He does SO MUCH for me every day. Things I don't have time for...he's one step ahead of me.
7) I miss Sunday morning Scrabble and Coffee with my hubster. It's not that it can't happen or that it won't. I just miss the time when it was a weekly date.
8) I am already dreaming of our vacation to Sunriver in June. My favorite place to be!
9) There isn't enough coffee on the planet that can cure sleep deprivation.
10) I love the feeling of excitement I get each afternoon at the end of the work day when we are about to pick Lilli up from Daycare.
11) I love the big smile that crosses her face when we leave her with Karen at daycare. It is a huge relief to know that she is happy to see the people that she spends so much time with.
12) In my mind I am convinced I WILL win the lotto someday.
13) Lilli gets this giant smile across her face when I sing to her. Of course I hope that she is a singer like her Mama....well, her Dad too. Singer or not, I love that music calms her and that she really focuses and watches and reacts.
14) I've had these REM lyrics running through my head the last couple of hours: "Oooooh life, is bigger....bigger than you, and you are not me."
15) Lilli turned 5 months about a week ago. My Dad turned 60 yesterday. I turn 34 next week.